Fate flows like a river…

Fate is something funny. At times I wonder whether it’s God or the Devil at play. 👿 Fate and destiny… I can honestly say I have no idea where I’m headed to. I thought I knew and then things didn’t turn out as what I was hoping for. God or Whomever it is just didn’t want me to have what I wanted. 😁 My road not taken ended at a dead end. Luckily there wasn’t a cliff there for me to jump down from. It wasn’t worth it to take the plunge, anyway. My life is too precious for that. I just decided to backtrack and take another path.

As for now, I’m just cruising along this path, taking in the sights and enjoying my road trip. I have my wishes, but I do not want to make them my be all and end all. It’ll just make this journey miserable if I keep pushing them to happen. I have no idea what He wants for me. So far, the stuff he’s sending my way are a bit confusing, but enjoyable as hell. 😅 It’s que sera sera for me now. Seize the moment! Live in the moment! I am my own adventure story!! 😜

 

Don’t Play Play

The first week of the new semester seems to be off to a great start. The kids seem energetic and hardworking in churning out their ideas for the projects to be carried out this semester. This is a good sign indeed! 😁

Every start of a new semester, I’ll usually meet a new batch of kids and this is what I’ll tell them. Practise using English as much as you can now. This is the time for you to brush up on your language skills. Don’t worry about making mistakes coz’ your lecturers are here to correct you. But if you keep using your mother tongue alone, how would you know you are making any mistakes? How are you going to improve your command of the language? How are you going to communicate and present in English fluently when you work? Are you gonna get someone to do it for you? A proxy?? You need to buck up now! Start correcting your attitude and stop being lackadaisical. Stop your ‘tidak apa’ attitude.

The workplace is less tolerable of mistakes made. At times, it can be real cruel and brutal if you are unlucky. You don’t really know what kinda of a boss you are gonna get. Some bosses can be as sweet as can be and some can be the devil incarnate. 😈 There’s really no room for errors. There’s no coddling. You can’t give excuses like “I’m having some personal problems and that’s why I couldn’t finish the project on time” crap. Your boss might say leave your personal problems at the doorstep. Everyone has their own problems.

Your personal life can be put on hold, but your working life, well, that’s another story. Life goes on there. If you can’t take the heat, then you better split. Time is money at work. A delay or a mistake can cause thousands or worse still millions at times. You must always be accountable for the tasks you have been assigned with. If you can’t finish them due to unforeseen circumstances, then make sure someone helps you with them or explain it to your superiors. Don’t leave them in the dark coz’ they might think you are still capable of completing them, but in actual fact, you aren’t. Don’t always expect others to sympathise with you, you need to put yourselves in their shoes too. They too have deadlines and people to answer to, not just you. When you screw up, they get screwed too. 😨 So be a little considered.

I look at my kids and they will nod and smile in understanding. In reality, I don’t really know how much of what I say goes in. Perhaps it might just go in one ear and come out the other? Mayhaps some might take heed. We always say prevention is better than cure, but for some, they just have to  learn it the hard way. I just hope that whatever they go through when they start working won’t scar them for life.  

 

To be or not to be Strong, that is the question…

We all try to be strong and independent. We know it’s important to be able to stand on our own two feet. We try not to show the world our weaknesses coz’ we do not want to be a bother or a burden to others. But at times, we too need somebody. We need somebody to lean on, somebody to share our ups and downs with. So the next time you see us smile, look again. We might not actually be smiling. There might be a hidden sadness lurking behind that pair of curved lips. 😉

 

The Other Person

Sometimes something that seems trivial to us might not be that trivial to another person. We behave nonchalantly. We ignore, we avoid or sometimes we just brush it off as something insignificant. But in actual fact, it might mean a lot to the other person.

Whereas, to us, it’s just another thing. We might wonder what’s wrong with this person? Why all the fuss?? The thing is we all see things through our own lenses, our very skewed lenses.

Well, we can only know how the other person feels if we are in the other person’s shoes. At times, we just need to take a moment and be that other person.

 

Looking back at 2014…

Compliments of the season to one and all! Tis the season to be merry and of coz’ to look back at everything that has happened throughout the year.

Now, if I had to use two words to describe 2014, it would be “interesting” and “confusing”. I know these are rather common words, but they are the best words I can think of to sum up the year.

The year was filled with ups and downs, a real roller coaster ride. I went through two deaths in the family: my paternal grandma and my maternal grand uncle.

I’m still dealing with some unresolved issues which I hope will be cleared up in 2015. I really hate dragging things on. I think it’s high time I made some decisions.

Well, work was same ol’, same ol’ for the first half and then it went crazy gruelling busy for the second half. This year saw me taking on new challenges and responsibilities. Them white hairs are popping up faster now! 😛

Anyhoo, I seem to be constantly learning new things this year, especially as I sojourn into uncharted territories at work and in my personal space. This new knowledge has kinda changed my perspective on life and on how things are in reality. People can change and not everyone plays by the same rules.

We are taught to follow the rules of society and so like little good children we do, thinking that everything will fall into place if we do. For some, yes and for some, no. Perhaps that might create some frustrations in us. I know how that feels. We strive to follow the rules, but at times we might bend them now and then in our quest to fulfil our desires. Hence, I really do understand the saying that “some rules are meant to be broken”. 😉

Not only that, I’ve also learned some new stuff about myself, call it self-discovery if you want, and I am not done making sense of them yet. This “new” me has me in a conundrum as it really requires loads of patience, control and a helluva restrain on my part. At times, acting nonchalant is a real challenge especially when I get more and more involve. Some of these stuff I’m going through are things I wouldn’t imagine myself ever experiencing or venturing into. It’s exciting and it’s like a dormant part of me has been woken up. I seem to be a different person. Wow, I didn’t see that coming! I keep asking myself: “Is that really me? Why is it happening to me? Who knew I had it in me?? Not in a million years!”

As I said this is a super confusing year as well. My beliefs have been shaken. I seem to have more questions and self-doubts. I do wonder whether it’s a test from God or is the Devil playing his tricks on me, taunting me. Things used to be compartmentalised into black and white. Now out pops a grey area. It’s so difficult to handle this grey area. The rules are different there. In fact, I think I’ve kinda thrown the rule book out and am just creating my own rules. Let’s see where this grey area leads us to.

In addition to that, I’m also confused with the infamous four letter word: LOVE. You would think that a 30 something would know what love is by now. Well, I used to. I think I used to, anyway. What is love? I really don’t know what it is anymore. What does it mean to be in love? What do you equate love with? How do you know when you are in love? Can two persons be together without love? Can you love more than one person? I guess I’ve been watching too many dramas. Sigh… The stubborn bull in me is having a tough time accepting changes. The things that are happening around me are just making it more mind boggling. Perhaps it’s time to fall head over heels in love with someone to understand it better? 😛

Anyhoo, I’ve kept my promised to myself to at least embark on a solo travel once a year. This year I went to Taiwan and it was an awesome experience. It was a bleisure trip: business + leisure. I took the opportunity to travel to a few cities in Taiwan since I was heading there to present a paper at a conference in Taipei. Taiwan is indeed a lovely country. It’s safe, the public transport is so convenient and the people are pretty friendly as well. Hmm… I will never tire travelling on my own.

So I can say all in all I have had a colourful horsey year. I have no idea what plans 2015 has for me. There are bound to be great challenges and battles ahead, but I’m definitely gonna try to embrace them the best I can or rather grab them by the horns as the saying goes! 😉

Let’s all attack 2015 with full of gusto!!

Happy 2015 in advance, everyone!! 🙂