Compliments of the season to one and all! Tis the season to be merry and of coz’ to look back at everything that has happened throughout the year.
Now, if I had to use two words to describe 2014, it would be “interesting” and “confusing”. I know these are rather common words, but they are the best words I can think of to sum up the year.
The year was filled with ups and downs, a real roller coaster ride. I went through two deaths in the family: my paternal grandma and my maternal grand uncle.
I’m still dealing with some unresolved issues which I hope will be cleared up in 2015. I really hate dragging things on. I think it’s high time I made some decisions.
Well, work was same ol’, same ol’ for the first half and then it went crazy gruelling busy for the second half. This year saw me taking on new challenges and responsibilities. Them white hairs are popping up faster now! 😛
Anyhoo, I seem to be constantly learning new things this year, especially as I sojourn into uncharted territories at work and in my personal space. This new knowledge has kinda changed my perspective on life and on how things are in reality. People can change and not everyone plays by the same rules.
We are taught to follow the rules of society and so like little good children we do, thinking that everything will fall into place if we do. For some, yes and for some, no. Perhaps that might create some frustrations in us. I know how that feels. We strive to follow the rules, but at times we might bend them now and then in our quest to fulfil our desires. Hence, I really do understand the saying that “some rules are meant to be broken”. 😉
Not only that, I’ve also learned some new stuff about myself, call it self-discovery if you want, and I am not done making sense of them yet. This “new” me has me in a conundrum as it really requires loads of patience, control and a helluva restrain on my part. At times, acting nonchalant is a real challenge especially when I get more and more involve. Some of these stuff I’m going through are things I wouldn’t imagine myself ever experiencing or venturing into. It’s exciting and it’s like a dormant part of me has been woken up. I seem to be a different person. Wow, I didn’t see that coming! I keep asking myself: “Is that really me? Why is it happening to me? Who knew I had it in me?? Not in a million years!”
As I said this is a super confusing year as well. My beliefs have been shaken. I seem to have more questions and self-doubts. I do wonder whether it’s a test from God or is the Devil playing his tricks on me, taunting me. Things used to be compartmentalised into black and white. Now out pops a grey area. It’s so difficult to handle this grey area. The rules are different there. In fact, I think I’ve kinda thrown the rule book out and am just creating my own rules. Let’s see where this grey area leads us to.
In addition to that, I’m also confused with the infamous four letter word: LOVE. You would think that a 30 something would know what love is by now. Well, I used to. I think I used to, anyway. What is love? I really don’t know what it is anymore. What does it mean to be in love? What do you equate love with? How do you know when you are in love? Can two persons be together without love? Can you love more than one person? I guess I’ve been watching too many dramas. Sigh… The stubborn bull in me is having a tough time accepting changes. The things that are happening around me are just making it more mind boggling. Perhaps it’s time to fall head over heels in love with someone to understand it better? 😛
Anyhoo, I’ve kept my promised to myself to at least embark on a solo travel once a year. This year I went to Taiwan and it was an awesome experience. It was a bleisure trip: business + leisure. I took the opportunity to travel to a few cities in Taiwan since I was heading there to present a paper at a conference in Taipei. Taiwan is indeed a lovely country. It’s safe, the public transport is so convenient and the people are pretty friendly as well. Hmm… I will never tire travelling on my own.
So I can say all in all I have had a colourful horsey year. I have no idea what plans 2015 has for me. There are bound to be great challenges and battles ahead, but I’m definitely gonna try to embrace them the best I can or rather grab them by the horns as the saying goes! 😉
Let’s all attack 2015 with full of gusto!!
Happy 2015 in advance, everyone!! 🙂